End of an Age

As you loyal readers have probably noticed, this blog has slowly come to a end. Suzanne and I are both so busy with out lives now. Last semester I only had class two days a week and it made it easier for me to post more but I think we are heading out seperate ways on new adventures (or possible the same way on the same adventure you'll have to stay tuned to us on Facebook, Twitter and yes EVEN HERE! For announcements.)

We do have something knew in the works but it is very secret so you won't know about it for a while. I just thought it was time for us to say good-bye for now. I'm hoping we pick back up occasionally for some stories and I think we will but I don't like to leave things hanging so I thought I'd fill you in.

In some more news about my life. I've been accepted into UGA!!! So I will probably be even more busy come next semester.

This is not the end of Goosethetwin but just our parting ways with the blog. I hope everyone who has read out stories has been entertained.

We set out to make people laugh, to make them cry, and to make them have a orgasm and I hope we have occomplished all three here.

Until next time

До свидания

Auf Wiedersehen

 

farvel

adeus

adiós

FARVÄL

 

ลาก่อน

 

작별 인사

 

viszontlátásra

 

再见

 

au revoir

 

さようなら

 

Good Bye!

 

(Sorry if I killed your language...blame google Translate!)

Brain Eating Terrorist.

If you pay any attention at all to the news, and by news I mean Yahoo! news because that's all I look at (and twitter), then you know about these brain eating amoebas...

WHAT?

Did I really just say that? YUP. A brain eating amoeba. Let that sink in for a few seconds.




This mother trucker thinks he can just swim up your nose and chow down on your brain. This my friend is what gamers and horror movie enthusiast like to call zombies. Zombies should be the only thing eating brains around these parts!

How does one get there brain eating you may ask? Well you go swimming in a warm body of fresh water. Then it gnaws up you brain until you die. I imagine that there a quick way to check if you have this (besides symptoms like headache, vomiting and stiff neck) is to knock on your head and listen to see if it sounds hollower.

They say to avoid shallow water and stirring up the bottom.

Oh that's nice, I feel better.

NOT.

You know what I am going to avoid? Water. Yup, no water. I will go about and by more deodorant tomorrow. I will only shower once a week with freezing cold water. and my face will not be washed near the nose.

Also a good precaution...I'd say don't pick those boogers! I bet those little zombie can't dig through boogers.

They say you die from within 1 to 12 days after swimming and being taken over. So, for instants, lets say you get sick with what you think is the flew. I think we have all had those symptoms for a few days and lived...because it was the flew. NOW along with feeling like crap and worrying when we will finally be able to hold down proper food and have a mouth that doesn't taste like vomit...we have to worry about an amoeba eating our brains (if we had been in the water recently).

Apparently these don't live in pools and these things happen all the time. Like once a year. OH that makes me feel better too. Glad its semi common. Glad its not a temporary thing that will be over once winter hits.

3 deaths this summer, two of them being children (well child and teenager). That's just plain sad and scary! Summer is almost over so here just a warning...if you get those symptoms go to the hospital.

I wonder if you feel it eating your brain? BLEEGGGHHH. Gross right? Does your brain hurt now? Mine does.

I'm much more comfortable swimming with sharks...you can see them...you know what is happening the whole time. They are very straight forward attackers. Sure they aren't ever 100% sure whether they want to eat you or not but hey when you go to that new restaurant you take a big out of your food too before you swallow it down. Frankly getting eaten whole by a shark really says something good about your taste and hygiene.



Anyway I just have one question about this Amoeba situations.


WHERE ARE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?

An Axe forgets what a Tree Remembers

Today I ordered a set of 10 throwing axes. Why? You ask. There is a simple reason.

Douche-bag drivers.

We have all seen them, the slow driver, the fast driver, the one that rids your ass, the girl with makeup, people distracted by phones, bikes, ones with kids jumping around in the back seat, mini vans, people who ride your ass even though you aren't going slow, kids playing in the street, motorcycles, people who pass you in no pass lanes people who don't use their turn signals, people who decided to stop right before they want to turn on a major road almost causing a pile-up, red light/stop sign runners, bad parkers, a few stereotypical Asian, teenagers, old and female drivers (no offense), and lastly STUDENT DRIVERS.

I am pretty sure you can't sit there any tell me that none of these people have ever annoyed you? You can't, because at some point you have interacted with some of these people, or all of the these people, and they did piss you off. Don't try and act like you don't get road rage...we all get road rag even a little...just like how everyone has that one place they feel 100% comfortable picking there nose...some peoples is in the car.

Well I have the perfect solution. Today while my aunt and I were on our way home from the store we were in lane that was ending to turn into her neighborhood. Mind you I was doing everything right, I had slowed down a bit and had my turn signal on. (I offend refer to this as a blinker) There are cars in the other lane, no one beind me until BAM!

No I didn't get in a car accident.

But some idiot in there BMW Daddy probably bought them decided they were going to use the ending lane to pass everyone...my aunts neighborhood is right towards the end of the ending lane and this mother trucker
is flying all the way up my ass.

Homie don't play like that.

So they almost hit us and then the car beside us because they wanted over and the lane was ending. Well dumb ass you shouldn't have pulled that little stunt. This is why people get killed and its a shame. Idiots.

Well here is the solution- throwing axes.

When someone pisses you off driving you take that throwing axe out of your glove compartment and you throw it right into the back window of who ever is pissing you off...if it is a biker (use caution they could be a Hell's Angel) you can throw it in their back tire.

And if anyone trys to axe you about it then you can axe them upside their head.

Now this person who pissed you off is probably fearful of their life at this point and pulled over to the side of the road. GET THEIR LICENSE PLATE. You aren't done yet. They will try to to report you...you need to axe the windows of there house so they know you mean business.

It works best if you learn how to throw with your left hand, unless your in England...then you probably should learn with your right.

Be careful not to hit anyone or your become an axe murderer. This is simply just to teach people how to drive.

Oh and if you see one of those people riding their bikes on a busy road...there is a nice spot in the leg the stop that. Or the back will do. They won't be doing any biking ever again.

This little girl is practicing her axe handling skills because she doesn't take shit from bad drivers.



Hope Everyone Has a great day! Make sure to drive good ;)





once again...this is a joke...I wouldn't axe a car.

Giraffe Week

Oh, it's Shark Week you say?

Well Honey Badger don't care.

There is a new deadly animal in town that will be taking over a tv near you summer 2012! This is the official announcement (of the planning, hoping and countless letters sent to Discovery Channel) of Giraffe Week!

Now you may be saying "What cute little thing that looks like E.T.! Where is Drew Barrymore when you need her?" 

But my friends you are DEAD wrong. These deadly creatures can grow up to 20 feet tall and almost 2,000 pounds. 

Surely these animals are close to extinction like most animals in Africa though right? NOPE. Sure they have awesome coats but those coats are actually camouflage. Remember in Land Before Time when Littlefoot finds that "rock" he thought was his mom? Yeah that was actually a Giraffe.

They have been around millions of years, just because of pure badassery. But still today they face a new modern threat, Hunters. Alas, Giraffes don't play around with guns. If you shoot at them you better expect repercussions.

Here you can see a baby Giraffe doing what I call "the kiss of deaf". Where a Giraffe gives you a little kiss (usually with tongue) and then proceeds to strangle you with that long neck.

Luckily, this giraffe was a baby and wasn't able to kill the man.

It's not just the neck you must be worried about though, Giraffes do have horns.

Ever seen them? Probably not. Because they come out only in times of need, and when the Giraffe needs to bring him out he or she usually kills.

Here we have Sarah and Esmee, two brave women who have raised this deadly creature since birth. You can clearly see there the horns come out.

I ask all of you to be cautious around Giraffes. In the last 20 years we have lost 834 people due to Giraffe attacks.

So next time you see this:

Remember the dangers it holds.

(This is totally fictional, so don't try to kill Giraffes...or we will kill you...jk...but seriously.)

War in Darcie?

I wanted to blog about Darfur and how everyone wants to save it.

But then I thought "Is that to soon?"

Clearly I have decided it is not to soon, and in fact the right time to write a blog. After all before deciding to write this blog I wouldn't have been able to locate Darfur on a map. Don't Judge you couldn't either could you?

Now I will not pretend to be an expert on the subject, to be perfectly honest with you I cannot tell you whether this War in Darfur is still happening or not. Also, before tonight I thought Darfur took place in Asia, in a little country south of China and that the Chinese people used the Darfurians as factory workers to make all of the luxury items American Hotshots pay the Chinese to make.

Clearly I was wrong for once.

Apparently Darfur is in Africa.

This is news to me, if you are a reader of my blog in the past you know Africa, the motherland, holds a special place in my heart. So I would like all of this violence and mistreatment and what ever else to be stopped.

This business started in 2003 and so many people have been effected. Now don't get me wrong I don't want to be sending our troupes over their to put a stop to this. We get in peoples business enough we should leave these people be...we have lasted long enough without interrupting.

How could something go on for so long in these modern times?

Beats the hell out of me.

Well all I really know is it should be saved. Because who hasn't seen an add, commercial or flyer trying to save it?

Well here is Goosethetwins helping hand. I will hope that blogging will help spread the word.

I just would go somewhere else to get your factual information.

Shephard's Pie. A Harry Potter Recipe

"The day Harry is to spend time in detention with Professor Lockhart (helping him to answer his fan mail), Harry eats his shepherd's pie without much appetite, dreading his upcoming detention. If he could foretell the future, he'd have a lot more on his mind, because during his detention he will hear a terrifying, murderous voice in the walls that no one else can hear (see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 7)."

So this was a pretty easy thing to make and pretty quick too. Because my family is a bunch of picky eaters we left out the onion. I also doubled the recipe but I kept forgetting that I was doubling it and I could add some things undoubled. I also used beef broth instead of chicken because my mom doesn't like chicken.

First thing I did was cook the meat and then peel and cut the potatoes.

Here is the meat, excuse the ugly cup in the background, my little brother has had one to many head injuries.

Now boiling the potatoes and putting all the flavor into the meat.

Time to cook!



Some of the juices from the meat rose up and colored the potatoes

All in all I think this turned out pretty good. I think there wasn't a very good meat to potato ratio but that was my fault. If I made this again I'd probably made something else to eat on the side, like green beans just to give it some color. It was also a bit salty and we probably ate it to fast. It probably should have cooled a bit.

But it was really easy to make and I will probably make it again. Sorry their were not that many pictures, this really wasn't that exciting to make and I didn't have an assistant.

Still a few more posts left! Any guesses what they may be? Thanks for reading and tell your friends!

Big, Fluffy Pancakes. A Harry Potter Recipe

"In the Wizarding world this dish is called Cauldron Cakes. Harry see's them for the first time on the witch's trolley on board the Hogwarts Express in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. He generously shares with Ron, who finds his dry corned beef sandwich unappealing."


I wasn't really sure what recipe to do next, so my mom and I went through the book and picked out some that sounded good. While we were at the pool my brother bet my mom that if we could make a basket from the diving board she'd have to make pancakes. Well he made one eventually then I made two in a row.

When I found this recipe I decided I'd make the pancakes.

 So the first think we had to do was get all the ingredients, mom was assisting me today because I had never made pancakes.

Then we mixed the eggs, sugar and lemon zest.

We also have a power and baking soda combo and milk.

Then I had to mix everything together, thought that is my mom mixing it.

Got the pan ready.

I let her go first, we weren't sure how this was going to work out.

As you can see, Mom's pancake flipping skills need some work. Also I am not sure why they aren't as big and fluffy as you'd imagine.

More and more came, getting bigger not very fluffy. We couldn't get an exact circle.

This was my first attempt.

Had to be very careful, I wanted to do better then my mom.

And I did!! Nearly perfect right? I think so.

If you look at the back of the plate its obvious we had been snacking.

Cut off those edges and we have a perfect circle!

Not so much right here.

They turned out looking rather weird. Not as pretty as most pancakes.

I will say that they tasted really good. I probably used a bit to much lemon zest, they had a lemon flavor to them because of that. I am not sure why the pancakes were not big and fluffy or if this is what they consider big and fluffy.

Still it doesn't change the fact that these were really good and fairly easy to make. I don't think I'll make them again unless I just get a wild hair for homemade pancakes.

More recipes will be coming soon! One is so good that I have made them 2 times, and of the ingredients to do it again next week.

Any guesses what that may be?

Thanks for reading and suggest the blog to your friends!!

Merlins Beard!!!!!

10 years ago I started reading the first Harry Potter book, I was in 5th grade and hated reading with a passion. It just wasn't for me. I put my index card in my book and put the book on my bookshelf and didn't return for almost 7 years.

My senior year of high school I realized reading wasn't all that bad and I started reading again. I picked up my Harry Potter book and started reading the series on and off for about 3 years. Using the same index card as a bookmark ever since.

Well I finally finished the Harry Potter series and am very sad to not have a need for that book mark (though I am currently using it for the Tales of Beedle the Bard) but the bookmark will remain in the first book until I decided to read again, even if it is years down the line when I am reading it to my children.

After finishing the series I started texting Goose talking about how amazing it would be if JK Rowling would write another book, maybe not another revolving around harry but another in the wizarding world. So I started doing so research and JKR told Oprah last fall that she was thinking about writing more books in the wizarding world.

Well you don't just tell Oprah something unless your are serious.

Today I am on twitter, doing my thing when I notices "More Potter" and "Pottermore" were trending topics. So I did my research.

Turns out JKR had letters on a Secret Street View and the letters spell out something that seems to be one of those, though only 9 letters are currently announced/been found and the M is missing (as far as I have heard).

I myself decided as a dedicated fan and a blogger I must do my research and I found the letters E O T O T R P R and I couldn't find the last E for some reason, I have the coordinates but it just doesn't work for my computer.

So what does this mean from JKR? Will she be writing more books?

I think so. I'd be interested to have books following the main casts kids or even the there lives after the battle of Hogwarts and before they send the kids off to Hogwarts.

Well she said they'd be posting more between June 15 and June 16 so I guess we should find out soon hopefully.


Also I have made 5 recipes from the book and have all the pictures on my camera and am only waiting to get my cord so I can upload those pictures! So new Harry Potter Cookbook Blogs should be coming soon.

The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse.

I usually don't do this but I suppose I will write a person blog not really for entertainment but to let everyone know a little bit about my family, most my little brother. Goose has opened up about the holidays (and probably brought a lot of yall to tears). This probably won't but it isn't meant to. Its more of a congratulations.

18 (19 in November) years ago my mom brought home a little boy, who apparently is my brother. I was only 21 months old and had already developed the personality I have today and said "Take him back Mommy" before she even managed to get all the way in the door.

Many fights, one stabbing and millions of good times later my little brother, who I never really wanted, was getting ready to graduate.

It is a big time in my families lives because the youngest is getting ready to graduate and it has finally sunk in with me that my baby brother isn't really a baby anymore...in fact...he is an adult. But this was a bigger moment in his life then it was ours. Friday night Brooks would graduate with his class of 2011 then on Saturday we would play in the State Championship for baseball.

I can honestly say that I have never been more proud of him in his entire life. So I am writing a blog about it and will explain how everything went down.

The first game I was PRAYING more then anything they'd win. (Though later there would be another game I'd be praying for). I wanted the first game to win so bad for 2 reasons. 1) Brooks started out on first, it was his last game we were all pretty sure so I really wanted him to win it, that way no matter what happens at least he could look back knowing he won the last game he played in. Selfish but I don't care ha. 2) If they win the first game they are at least guaranteed a game 3 if they loose the second game. Well Hillgrove almost came back but We won!!! What a relief!.

The second game we were playing pretty well but HillGrove caught up and tied the game 10 10 in the last inning we were still tied. I don't remember exactly how many extra inning there for but I think at least 3 or 4. Neither team was really getting any hits. It was a stale mate. I was really nervous but it was good to know that no matter what happened we still would have Monday..though I wish we wouldn't have needed Monday. I will give HUGE props to Phillip Taylor, he is one of Parkviews Senior pitches and he pitched all those extra inning plus a few more before they went into extra innings AND he pitched some in the first game. Phillip and the rest of the Panthers in the field played a LONG hard game and worked there asses off but sadly they lost.

Luckily there was always Monday.

Today (Monday) I think everyone was so nervous. Today was a day all of those boys will remember forever, but we were all hoping they'd remember it for positive reasons. The game was a close match for the first 3 or 4 inning where Parkview lead most of the time the HillGrove went ahead 10 to 8. It wasn't that big of a leave but for the next few inning neither team was scoring, leaving HillGrove in the lead going into the 7th inning. Feelings were kind of low in the stands. We were all so worried, PHS were visitors this game so we batted first and if we didn't at least get 2 run to tie the game we'd be done.

I am not exactly sure what was said but Brooks seemed to have a "talk" with the team on the field before entering the last inning. This would be his last inning of high school ball even though he wasn't playing. It didn't look much like a talk as it did like Brooks yelling at them. Hopefully encouraging words..which I assume were encouraging after I saw they way they batted. I don't know if he used positive or negative reinforcements but it looked like he swapped those kids with pros!! While they were playing a great game, they were not doing well enough to knock in any runs for a few innings (and neither was the other team) the score was still 10 to 8 with us behind.

Before the inning started I had told Troy and Virginia, whos little brother was also a senior on the team and whos father is a veteran and got to throw the first pitch because it was memorial day, that we need to get to at least 20 runs to be safe and win.

Well Parkview decided that they'd one me up and make it 21 to 10. They scored 13 runs in the 7th inning! It was probably one of the most amazing things to watch. The crowd was so hyped up and the boys were all doing amazing. Just with the first 3 runs were they knew they were still in it, it was like it was an all knew ball game and all of them knew they had what it would take to be state champions. HillGrove didn't manage to score and PARKVIEW WON STATE!!!!

I was so happy!! It was so amazing to watch these kids who I've been rooting for for so long get the ultimate prize and win state. I was so proud! watching them celebrate and celebrating with them was amazing!! I was so happy for them and my little brother I almost cried tears of joy, and I didn't do shit but watch.

When some people started running on the field the stands I was in were hardly moving. Well I said "AW HELL *BAD WORD ending in ING* NAW" and I proceeded down the crowded bleachers and onto the field pushing through these people who seemed to care less that we won followed by Jenny, Troy and Virginia to celebrate with them and my brother. It was so exciting the energy was amazing. I'd advise everyone to watch there little brothers high school team win state just once in their lives...or maybe win won yourself.

I almost felt bad pushing through all those people...but I mean when it looked like we were obviously going to win...I did say I'd be pushing through them to get on the field...fair warning. Plus they were blocking the stairs...It was a fire hazard anyway.

The officer on the field tried to tell us no don't go any farther....but it was the officer from our high school. He is a great guy but honestly there was more of us then there was him...and hes getting alittle old.

It was so much fun! I was so proud. And I guess now that baseball is over my little brother is finally a grown up and my family now has no attachments to PHS.

I have watched him grow up for 18 years and now he is off to play college baseball! I am so proud of him and hope he achieves so much more in life :)

Love you little bro.

Thanks for reading everyone, I just thought I'd share my excitement for my little brother and his baseball team.

Twin

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I am writing this to help Goose out... Just kidding hers are great :)

There are some things I have noticed about out most popular blog posts so I am going to list them out here...and actually will use all of these things to help create this one just as popular.

1.) Talk about Disney. 

                  By saying this, I have talked about Disney...but I'll post a picture for good measures.

2.) Post a sultry picture of Suzanne.

                                                             Beautimus.

3.) Post pictures in general...people eat that shit up.


4.) Have a witty title that grabs attention.


5.) Lead your reader into thinking this is a sexual blog.

Perves

6.) Make lots of promises on how your blog will get better. Like any successful person empty promises are the key to success.

7.) Force your friends and family into reading your blog. Sure it doesn't mean you blog is popular but a boost in number equals a boost in confidence.

8.) Have a solid foreign audience who reads your blog.

On that note I'd like to think all of the people who read! Especially the loyal readers. While Americans our are biggest viewers we have received many views and a few emails (which you Americans never send) about our blog so I'd like to send out a big thanks by making some mentions of the countries other then the USA who seem to enjoy our blog. In order of the most loyal. Just for kicks.

Canada, Russia, Italy (Fairly new but they eat out shit up! Love y'all Italians and wouldn't judge y'all by your Jersey counterparts), Slovenia, Germany, Denmark, Australia, Malaysia and Philippines.

Big THANKS to all of you! Don't see your country on here? Well better tell your friends and maybe shoot us an email and if you get enough viewers we will give yall a shout out....hell we may just hop right over and come visit....assuming your country has a beach....sorry Switzerland.

Now I know this is a bit off topic, but my other blog http://www.realitywithreyn.blogspot.com/ has its fair share of foreign viewers. In fact the number of viewers seems to grow with each post so I thought I'd give some shout outs to those countries too...after all they clearly love me bc I blog about American tv.

Russia, Canada, Germany, Austria, Hungry, Singapore, Australia, Denmark and the UK.

So whats with all this your probably asking. Well Suz and I have come up with a great discovery.

Foreign people LOVE me. I should be president. With Obamas approval ratings in the gutter and no clear front runner for Republican candidate I could easily go in and sweep this election. I mean assuming no one questions my age and prior experience I could probably win.

World peace would not be to far away either. If country didn't decided to be peaceful our peace countries which will go by Reynolds Davis' Countries for a Better Tomorrow....or RDCBT for short, will blow they asses up.

Thanks for reading guys! I'd also like to give Parkview High School Baseball a big shout out for making it to the State championship!!! I hope yall win it!

-Reyn

Shut Your Mouth and Say it Ain't So

I am very angry right now, okay that's kind of a lie. I am just more a little frustrated.

I don't know what happened but my last post got deleted, along with a few posts from www.realitywithreyn.blogpost.com

I mean it isn't the worst thing that could have happened, only one post here got deleted so at least we have a lot left. I am not rewriting that post either so if you missed it then that sucks. I don't really care that some on the other blog went down just because they are more recaps and my feelings on TV shows.

I just hope no more go down. Sometimes Blogger is very inconvenient. Maybe we should switch to Tumblr (which I have by the way). But I don't really feel like tumblr is as organized as blogger. who knows.

How to Catch a Predator

I am going to tell you and entirly true story about what happened to my cousin Jamee and I the other day.

We are getting ready to have our "The Voice" viewing party when she needs to go to the store to get a cake. We got to publix which is right down the street and along with the cake we decided to get some eclairs.

After waiting in a pretty short line to check out he ranged our items up then Jamee is about to pay and I say.

"Did you get the eclairs?" I knew she did, but I also knew I didn't see them anywhere and I am pretty sure he rang them up. So she looked and he did ring them up and so we say something. Then I mention the fact that I am pretty sure the little girl and her mom in front of us stole them. I saw them take a freshly baged bag but I wasn't sure if it was ours or one of theirs so I didn't say anything.

When our register boy relized this mistake he took off like Superman going to save Lois Lane. He ran out that store leaving behind a line. The manager and two other employees looked over at us like WTF? Then the manager asked what he was doing. We politely said "Some little girl jacked out eclairs". The manager, being a little more thoughtful then the employee sent another employee to get us new eclairs because clearly they will never get those back from that little thief....Her mom probably beat her that night for stealing.

As if the night wasn't already full of criminals, when we were driving back to Jamee's house to put the cake away there is a HUGE creeper standing under a tree hiding. He gives us the creepiest look EVER. And like moves his head to follow us with his eyes.

Okay and so you can get a mental picture in your head about what this guy looked like. Imagine the scariest guy you've ever seen....now imagine him as a cannibal....and in jean shorts.

That was this guy. He kind of looked somewhat like this dude....but scarier and without visible tattoos.

Oh good the stories over right? nope. When we got to her house right up the street we pull in her driveway. Then some Van decides to be creepy and it stops in front of the driveway!! it doesn't do anything but sit there parked! In super creeper mode. We don't get out of the car because we weren't in the mood to get killed or kick ass. All we wanted was to watch the voice and eat eclairs is that so hard to ask?


Welp surely nothing else could go wrong right? wrong.

After a few hours my mom reads me an article about how a few houses in the neighborhood right near ares were broken into and how a cop is monitoring the area and that any suspicious activity needs to be reported.......

If only we would have known sooner. There is a gaggle of thugs out that we come into contact with and we could have citizens arrested all of them. Imagine how big of heroes we would have been. We probably would have been given keys to the city.


Twin

Honey Badger Don't Care

Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit.




Okay so I am going to tell yall about a dream I had last night. It was pretty rad and I think I made a new best friend.


This dream was pretty awesome. I was sitting a room, it was almost like a room where we are about to listen to someone talk, my guess was that they were going to talk to us about toothpaste because we were in a convention center for old people.


I look around and who do I see? Lindsey Lohan. I am star struck! The fact that Lindsey and I use the same toothpaste was amazing. This clearly meant that I would be able to pursue a future as a cocaine addict without harming my pearly whites.


As I look around I see Paris Hilton, Carlie Sheen, Antonio Banderas, Raquel Zimmermann, Cuba Gooding Jr., Tom Welling and Kristin Chenoweth.


Quickly I realized this is not the toothpaste convention I had signed up for. I was clearly either in a celebrity rehab center....or on the set of the Rat Race sequel.


When know Doctors came out I took it upon myself to personally rehabilitate each and everyone one of the celebs from whatever ails them. So I said "Okay guys lets gather around and talk about our problem like an AA meeting"


They all start to move there chairs, Mr. Sheen kind of had a hard time following instructions being under the influence from his morning line but Tom Welling, being  superman, helped him get into the circle.


I called Lindsey over to sit by me. She needed the most help and I was very interested in knowing how Herbie Fully Loaded ended, because I fell asleep and am not sure. I assume it wasn't to good because while living in Orlando I'd see Herbie driving all the time and not racing once.


On my right sat Paris, Cuba, Kristin and Tom. Everyone else was on my left. We did role call. By this point I decided they all needed different types of help. Paris, Lindsey and Charlie needed drug rehabilitation. Antonio needed a new face because he is often confused for Rickey Martin by the non-Hispanic community. Cuba needed a jump start to his career and Raquel needed a little bit of name recognition. Tom tired to say he had to problem but I knew I'd find his kryptonite. Kristin really didn't seem to have problems though, really her only problem was that she played an on screen drunk.


Now it looks like I am just beginning to peek in my story and that more is to come but that is where you are wrong. I got a phone call from some number I don't know and it ruined my dream. I debated putting the number up here in hopes that someone would be able to tell me who they are but since it was probably a wrong number I'd hate for crazies to start calling them up every chance yall get.


but you know what


HONEY BADGER DONT CARE






i dont even like honey badgers.


twin.

Goose's PRE 4 Hour Body BLOG

Okay ya'll I'm going to blog about my adventures doing the 4 hour body. For awhile I was doing "Fruits/Veggies/Protein" diet. And the two times I've done that I've lost 10 lbs in a week. The 4 Hour Body diet (From the book of the same name) is basically the same with a few modifications. Biggest one, NO FRUIT. Second biggest, ONE CHEAT DAY PER WEEK. 


So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to follow the veggies/beans/protein diet as outlined in the book. I am going to do ONE CHEAT DAY (on Saturday this week) THEN, NEXT monday I'm going to weigh myself. I am not going to do a starting weight before I start because today was Easter, its a "certain time of the month" when I'm heavier, and frankly, I'm scared of the scale. So week 1 results may not be 100% accurate but I don't care so you shouldn't either.


My goal is to lose 20lbs.


We'll see what I can do!


Also- In addition to the diet I am also going to be doing the very small amount of exercise the book outlines. It says to do these exercises 3 days a week (MWF for me). Basically it's comprised of a whooole lotta kettlebell swings. Which SUPPOSEDLY will not only give you Michelle Obama Arms, but the best ass ever- my ass is already pretty awesome so I'll probably win national ass contests after this. 


Ew I don't like the word ass when describing a bum. I just don't. But I used it, what can ya do, you live and you learn.


There are also butt raises (where you lie on your back and raise your butt) and flying dogs. Google it if you don't know what that is.


Also, I'll be doing the ab exercises that are mentioned. I'll be doing the Myotatic crunch and the Cat Vomit...LOL google these too. Or better yet, youtube them.


I also measured myself, i'm going to track inches lost. Once again, I'll disclose these numbers NEXT MONDAY (May 2) just to be consistent.


I MAY - (depending on how much time I have) - Do Ripped in 30 also...but i'm not sure. Maybe after week 1. The 4HB diet emphasizes "DOING LESS = MORE RESULTS" so...we'll see.


I feel like blogging may keep me on track. We'll see!!!


-Goose

Picked Boogers

Panchos on the avoid flying boogers

Do you ever wonder where picked boogers go? Lets face it EVERYONE in there life has picked a booger or two. So what happens to a booger after it is picker? Well theres a few things people do.

1. Flick that booger off into existence and hope you never come in contact with it again.

2. Wipe the booger under the nearest desk or seat.

3. Wipe the booger on the back of someone as you "pat their back"

4. Put it in the hem of your pants. (or the folded part, I am assuming its called the hem, I won't say who does this)

5. Find a bathroom or a napkin, but lets face it if a bathroom or napkin/tissue is in close proximity then you probably wouldn't be digging for gold in the first place right?

6. You could eat it, freaks. Oh and ps they don't have nutritional value so when your baby eats a boogey in public you can't say its for his health.

Apparently 44% of people have eaten boogers in there adult hood. I am proud to say I am not in that statistic and I hope non of my readers are either. I hope that 44% comes from underdeveloped countries.

But what happens to the non-digested boogers? The simply can't just disappear.

Well I have a theory, like other things other things the come out of your body I think its collected by a mythical creature.

Everyone heard of the Tooth Fairy, and probablyThe Appendix Gnome and maybe even the lesser known Placenta Eater (More politically correct word is The Placenta Poltergeist). Well there is indeed a Boogey Baby and a Boogey Man.

The Boogey Man, commonly known for "scaring children" is actually not trying to scare but actually collect children's picked boogers and feed them to his Boogey Baby. Because boogers are actually the only thing that helps the Boogey Baby grow into a Boogey Man. Boogey Baby's don't have mothers so they have no milk to drink and therefore need boogers.

So that is where boogers go. How did I find this out? Well there is actually a building in down town Atlanta that is there head quarters, I actually showed up there on accident. Nargles are in command of the place, incorrigible.

Real Life Disney

Just Thought I'd share this pictures. I honestly can't remember who is in all of these, for some you will be able to tell, and just so its know the male mermaid is Michael Phelps.



Twin

What's in a Name?

What's in a name? Apparently more than we all would have thought.

Clearly some people had fake names, like Lady GaGa (Stefani Germanotta), Meat Loaf (Marvin Lee Aday), Eminem (Marshall Mathers), and Fergie (Stacy Ann Ferguson).

But did you know that stars like Charlie Sheen, Judy Garland, John Wayne and Mark Twain all have fake names? I had heard that actors who sign up for something, maybe the screen actors guild?, can't sign up under there name if it is already taken and so maybe these people had to do that.

But honestly Charlie Sheen's real name is Carlos Estevez...really? I didn't realize he was a Latino.

I just think its crazy that you never even realize some of these house hold names actually are fake. So since I am becoming a house-hold name I thought I'd tell yall my full name, William Reynolds Davis. But did you know that wasn't my original name?

Like many celebrities I had a name change to make it more "normal", or as normal as Reynolds could be. I was born with my traditional Icelandic name Reykholt Dalvík. and my brothers were born Magnús and Björn. My parents realized that when coming to America Reynolds, Martin and Brooks were much more suitable. Clearly they mistakenly named us all last names. Silly foreigners.

Totally kidding of coarse, as far as I know my name has always been what it is. But if I was a celeb it would be very likely that my real name would probably be Reykholt.

But does it really matter what we are named? Some people don't have middle names, some people go by there middle name, some people go by something completely random and don't get me started on women, they give up there last name usually (which I am all for by the way, I am anti dash)

I guess it makes since that parent's name us, because if children got to name themselves they'd be really dumb names, like "cookie" and "doggie" because I am pretty sure if my cousin Gabe got to name himself he would be Doggie Campbell and not Gabriel William Campbell, and don't listen to what anyone says, hes named after me.

I mean honestly I wouldn't mind having a different name sometimes. I have friends who call me Reyn (said like Wren). I like that its shorter, I would never officially change my name to it but I do like it. I mean first of all I can't say some words and as dumb as it sounds I am pretty sure I say Reynolds wrong.

I just feel like I am a complete idiot when I say my own name. Is this common or am I just in my own little dumb category?

Well I just thought I'd through this out there! Make sure to check out Reality With Reyn for updates on my favorite reality tv shows. I am hoping this will put us over 200 views this month!! whooot!

-Reyn

Public Indecency

Warning this is another blog about the bathroom.

The other day Suz and I were talking about how we think its kind of awkward to do number 2, in a public bathroom. We are sure we aren't the only ones who feel this way but we want to know why? Afterall, that is what a bathroom is for right? To use it.

There is a lot of awkwardness that comes along with taking a dump in the public bathroom, for starters you could run out of toilet paper and that brings up a whole new giant set of problems. What would one do in a public bathroom with no toilet paper? You'd have to as the dude next to you to pass some under and let me tell you that would probably be the most embarresing thing ever, so I'll share a story.

One day my family and I were coming home from Alabama and we stopped at this steakhouse to eat lunch, we rarely every stop on such a short trip like from Birmingham to Lilburn, but today we did. Well both Brooks and I had to shit so we went to the bathroom because we were about to leave. As I was done and needed to wipe I almost died laughing because I was out of toilet paper, there were other people in the bathroom. Plus Brooks was probably telling jokes, and probably farting really loud but thats just a guess because I don't remember. But I do remember having to ask and I laughed so hard because I could just imagine what the other people where thinking.

Anyway, luckily Brooks was in the next stall. But his brings my to my other points, what if your really gassy? Fart's not only echo in bathrooms, but they are magnified in toilets, and I don't think anyone will really judge someone for farting in the bathroom; but many people, like me, think its hilarious when someone farts in a public place and honestly if I was in the bathroom and someone just keeps non stop farting I'd probably hyperventilate.

With gas, and taking a shit, comes a smell for lots of people. When your taking a shit in a public place you just have to pray to God that that shit doesn't reek. People will judge you if you release a toxic gas in the bathroom, thats just indecent. You might like you own brand but I'll tell you right now noone else likes it one bit.

Unless you have fabreeze in your pocket your probably going to have to deal with people giving you the stank face when you exit the stall.

So my advise for you to when you get a call from number 2, you should probably anwer it in an uncrowded bathroom or a private bathroom. Lunchtime on a Sunday at Cracker Bareel is not the proper place for this behavior.

-twin