Monday, March 21, 2011

Public Indecency

Warning this is another blog about the bathroom.

The other day Suz and I were talking about how we think its kind of awkward to do number 2, in a public bathroom. We are sure we aren't the only ones who feel this way but we want to know why? Afterall, that is what a bathroom is for right? To use it.

There is a lot of awkwardness that comes along with taking a dump in the public bathroom, for starters you could run out of toilet paper and that brings up a whole new giant set of problems. What would one do in a public bathroom with no toilet paper? You'd have to as the dude next to you to pass some under and let me tell you that would probably be the most embarresing thing ever, so I'll share a story.

One day my family and I were coming home from Alabama and we stopped at this steakhouse to eat lunch, we rarely every stop on such a short trip like from Birmingham to Lilburn, but today we did. Well both Brooks and I had to shit so we went to the bathroom because we were about to leave. As I was done and needed to wipe I almost died laughing because I was out of toilet paper, there were other people in the bathroom. Plus Brooks was probably telling jokes, and probably farting really loud but thats just a guess because I don't remember. But I do remember having to ask and I laughed so hard because I could just imagine what the other people where thinking.

Anyway, luckily Brooks was in the next stall. But his brings my to my other points, what if your really gassy? Fart's not only echo in bathrooms, but they are magnified in toilets, and I don't think anyone will really judge someone for farting in the bathroom; but many people, like me, think its hilarious when someone farts in a public place and honestly if I was in the bathroom and someone just keeps non stop farting I'd probably hyperventilate.

With gas, and taking a shit, comes a smell for lots of people. When your taking a shit in a public place you just have to pray to God that that shit doesn't reek. People will judge you if you release a toxic gas in the bathroom, thats just indecent. You might like you own brand but I'll tell you right now noone else likes it one bit.

Unless you have fabreeze in your pocket your probably going to have to deal with people giving you the stank face when you exit the stall.

So my advise for you to when you get a call from number 2, you should probably anwer it in an uncrowded bathroom or a private bathroom. Lunchtime on a Sunday at Cracker Bareel is not the proper place for this behavior.

-twin

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