Thursday, December 30, 2010

I'm Julia Child...I mean Harry Potter?

Okay so as some of you may or may not know I do a sweet ass Julia Child impression. Well everyone knows that there is that movie Julie and Julia or something along those lines and it is an inspiration for my next blog assignment.

I can't remember if I told all of you what I will be doing in the coming year or not, so if I have please forgive me for repeating myself. I am to lazy to go back are read a couple blogs ago to find out. (We also made a video announcing this but we haven't gotten around to editing a posting....or even making the YouTube channel....w/e don't judge us)

I received The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook for Christmas and I plan on completing all the recipes for y'all. I will blog, take pictures and maybe if you are lucky I will even video some of me cooking.

Butter Beer is not in the book (boo you whores) but I will hopefully be making it first and pretending because I found a recipe. I will try to do one or two a week. The book is kind of legit though and has over 150 recipes, some from things in the book and others just good ole British food.

So for those of you mathletes out there you probably realize that this will take a really long time, then you have to add in the fact that I am the king of procrastination. It will get done though. Promise. (Ps I had to use a calculator to figure out how long it will take...)

Anyway that is all for now, hope everyone has a great safe New Years Eve!!!

Maybe if your lucky I'll make butter beer tomorrow!


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Its okay to be different, if it benefits everyone else.

Quick update before I start the blog: We will soon blog/post videos from out adventure but were are procrastinators (and I lost my camera) but for right now here is one of my Christmas Posts I didn't actually write in post in time. This blog is a total joke about Rudolph.

From a very young age children are taught that they should be themselves and that "its okay to be different". But lets face it, its not okay to be different. People as a whole only except someone different if it benefits them.

Lets take the classic story/song/movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He had a very shiny nose. Some even said it glowed and people laughed and called him names. No one liked Rudolph, what good was a shiny nose, he just thought he was special. Then on a foggy night he guided Santa's slay and the rain deer loved him. oh now you love him, now that he helps everyone out its okay to be different. Clearly the love for Rudolph only happens when its foggy, you never see Rudolph on a clear night.

here are some other examples.

middle schoolers always make fun of the tall kid, yet when basketball come around guess who is the first pick? When someone can't reach something the tall kid can.

I mean I just want to say that people should be more excepting of Rudolph's nose year round not just foggy Christmas nights.  I know one day I may need a giant to get something for me, or a midget to something from a really low place when I'm 80 years old and can't bend over anymore.

We are all different, I'm super funny and load more attractive then most people. I think differences are a good thing they make people unique.

unless your a ginger. that's never okay.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Goose and Twin reunited for 5 days only. Don't miss it! A CONTEST FOR YOU!

It's here, my friends. Twin is visiting me, Goose, tomorrow. A HUGE thank you to our sponsor, Dr. Pepper and we are going to wreak havoc all over Illinois. Even if it will be like 10 degrees. WHATEVA. 

Hopefully the cold will not prove destructive to our best-friendom. We've only ever been friends in warm weather until now.

To THANK you all for following and reading (We know you do it, even though you don't comment. We get stats..Shout out to you Canadians. You know who you are... ;) ) we want to run a contest which is also sponsored by Dr. Pepper. (They've loved us ever since our experiment and we love them too)

Here it is. From the dates of 12/13 - 12/17 shoot us an email at
Suggest something you want us to put onto our NEW YOUTUBE channel (launching soon), or BLOG. Ask us a question, tell us a story, have us act something out, an interesting blog topic, get creative. We have to start our youtube channel with a BANG and continue strong with our blog.

Love ya'll. Thanks for reading.
Goose (& Twin too)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I want a black girl best friend...and also about finals

I have many best friends. Straight black men, gay black men, straight white men, gay white men, straight white ladies, gay white ladies....I DO NOT HAVE A BLACK GIRL BEST FRIEND.

And I want one.

Listen, they are fabulous. They know the best places to get their hair done, and their nails. And they find these places for CHEAP. They gotta be cuz they get it done super often.

I had a weave once, and I'd do it again too if I had a black girl best friend consultant. She'd take me to her hairdresser so I wouldn't feel awkward - like the last time... I was the only white girl in there and they were AWESOME to me don't get me wrong but I was like a commodity. It was hilarious. I was legit thrown into the movie "Beauty Shop" (I think...I've never actually seen that movie)

Anyway, is any fabulous black girl in the market for a white friend? 

I know not all black girls do their hair and their nails and look perfect all the time. Sorry, but that's the one I want. I want a paws and claws buddy. (For those of you who don't know that's mani/pedi)

I wish her to be the kind of friend that brings no drama, and if drama is started with me or our posse SHE STOPS THAT SHIT with a snap of her perfectly manicured fingernails. Then I can step in front with MY perfectly manicured fingernails and throw a big "talk to the hand" and on we go being fabulous. Yeah, I totally want a black girl best friend.

Since that little fantasy is short I decided that I'd ALSO write about finals.


that's all.

<3 Goose

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The World Will End While Your On The Toilet

I said we probably wouldn't be able to post this week, I lied.

Here is the dilemma and I'm sure we have all been there, your on the toilet enjoying your favorite book and then you go to grab some toilet paper and there is nothing left. SSSCUSE ME???

What does one do in this situation? I also wait minute or so and hope some toilet paper magically appears. "Santa came early this year, here is some Charmin Ultra ." You really don't have to many options so here are a few:

1.) Ask the Audience. Scream for someone to bring you some and hope your not all out. This is a good method just scream really loud and hope someone is home.

2.) Phone a Friend. Text/call someone and tell them, less awkward but not as personal. What if they don't have there phone?

3.) Get in the shower and "hose off". While I have never personally done this I have heard stories of it happening and frankly I think its gross, really gross. This isn't a 3rd world country poop goes in the toilet and you go in the shower. You wouldn't wash yourself off in the toilet would you?

4.) The Waddle Method. If you are home alone and there is toilet paper in another room, sometimes you just got to waddle like a duck to get the toilet paper. I'd advise to you flush before you leave the bathroom. Once you grab the TP immediately go to the nearest bathroom to wipe.

5.) Towel Clean. Take a towel and use it, I find this also very gross and would advise you to throw away the towel after and do not try to flush it.

6.) Be a Man Use Your Hand. I do not advise you to do this at all. I'm not even sure why someone would do it. I'm sure someone maybe has but frankly once its on your hand then you have to use something to get it off and a lot of people would probably vomit. Just a big mess.

I am sure many smart people would say "Well keep the toilet paper in the bathroom." That sounds good in theory but for some reason my family thinks an appropriate place for toilet paper is in the hallway, or down stairs sometimes in the dinning room that we barely use. When you have to go really bad you don't think "Well I better go out of my way to get some toilet paper" so sir you go straight to the porcelain express.

Also this is another toilet dilemma I am sure some people face. Have you ever actually checked to see if theres toilet paper, and really had to go and you had to make the decision whether theres enough toilet paper on the roll or not. Sometimes if you get the soft fluffy kind that "makes your butt feel like a baby's bottom" it can be very misleading.  Then when you realize you made the wrong decision you are sitting there looking at this one thin square and wondering how this is going to work out. MacGyver that shit.

Here is the situation I was in the other day which made me bring this up. We were watching Harry Potter (Mom, Dad, Brooks and his girl friend) and Mom got a call so I decided it was the perfect time to go number 2 because she could talk on the phone for days. I had to go so bad that I ran upstairs and did my business (and actually was reading the harry potter book that was the same as the movie tmi I know). Well I was careless and realized there was no toilet paper. After waiting a minute for some mythical creature to bring me toilet paper (it would 've been nice to have a house elf) I went with method number two and texted Brooks. His response "No lol look on the shower handle first"........Really? He eventually brought me some.

Anyway I thought this was a funny subject and would share it. But by far the worst part of being stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper is that it smells like shit.