Saturday, August 6, 2011

An Axe forgets what a Tree Remembers

Today I ordered a set of 10 throwing axes. Why? You ask. There is a simple reason.

Douche-bag drivers.

We have all seen them, the slow driver, the fast driver, the one that rids your ass, the girl with makeup, people distracted by phones, bikes, ones with kids jumping around in the back seat, mini vans, people who ride your ass even though you aren't going slow, kids playing in the street, motorcycles, people who pass you in no pass lanes people who don't use their turn signals, people who decided to stop right before they want to turn on a major road almost causing a pile-up, red light/stop sign runners, bad parkers, a few stereotypical Asian, teenagers, old and female drivers (no offense), and lastly STUDENT DRIVERS.

I am pretty sure you can't sit there any tell me that none of these people have ever annoyed you? You can't, because at some point you have interacted with some of these people, or all of the these people, and they did piss you off. Don't try and act like you don't get road rage...we all get road rag even a little...just like how everyone has that one place they feel 100% comfortable picking there nose...some peoples is in the car.

Well I have the perfect solution. Today while my aunt and I were on our way home from the store we were in lane that was ending to turn into her neighborhood. Mind you I was doing everything right, I had slowed down a bit and had my turn signal on. (I offend refer to this as a blinker) There are cars in the other lane, no one beind me until BAM!

No I didn't get in a car accident.

But some idiot in there BMW Daddy probably bought them decided they were going to use the ending lane to pass aunts neighborhood is right towards the end of the ending lane and this mother trucker
is flying all the way up my ass.

Homie don't play like that.

So they almost hit us and then the car beside us because they wanted over and the lane was ending. Well dumb ass you shouldn't have pulled that little stunt. This is why people get killed and its a shame. Idiots.

Well here is the solution- throwing axes.

When someone pisses you off driving you take that throwing axe out of your glove compartment and you throw it right into the back window of who ever is pissing you off...if it is a biker (use caution they could be a Hell's Angel) you can throw it in their back tire.

And if anyone trys to axe you about it then you can axe them upside their head.

Now this person who pissed you off is probably fearful of their life at this point and pulled over to the side of the road. GET THEIR LICENSE PLATE. You aren't done yet. They will try to to report need to axe the windows of there house so they know you mean business.

It works best if you learn how to throw with your left hand, unless your in England...then you probably should learn with your right.

Be careful not to hit anyone or your become an axe murderer. This is simply just to teach people how to drive.

Oh and if you see one of those people riding their bikes on a busy road...there is a nice spot in the leg the stop that. Or the back will do. They won't be doing any biking ever again.

This little girl is practicing her axe handling skills because she doesn't take shit from bad drivers.

Hope Everyone Has a great day! Make sure to drive good ;)

once again...this is a joke...I wouldn't axe a car.

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