An Axe forgets what a Tree Remembers

Today I ordered a set of 10 throwing axes. Why? You ask. There is a simple reason.

Douche-bag drivers.

We have all seen them, the slow driver, the fast driver, the one that rids your ass, the girl with makeup, people distracted by phones, bikes, ones with kids jumping around in the back seat, mini vans, people who ride your ass even though you aren't going slow, kids playing in the street, motorcycles, people who pass you in no pass lanes people who don't use their turn signals, people who decided to stop right before they want to turn on a major road almost causing a pile-up, red light/stop sign runners, bad parkers, a few stereotypical Asian, teenagers, old and female drivers (no offense), and lastly STUDENT DRIVERS.

I am pretty sure you can't sit there any tell me that none of these people have ever annoyed you? You can't, because at some point you have interacted with some of these people, or all of the these people, and they did piss you off. Don't try and act like you don't get road rage...we all get road rag even a little...just like how everyone has that one place they feel 100% comfortable picking there nose...some peoples is in the car.

Well I have the perfect solution. Today while my aunt and I were on our way home from the store we were in lane that was ending to turn into her neighborhood. Mind you I was doing everything right, I had slowed down a bit and had my turn signal on. (I offend refer to this as a blinker) There are cars in the other lane, no one beind me until BAM!

No I didn't get in a car accident.

But some idiot in there BMW Daddy probably bought them decided they were going to use the ending lane to pass everyone...my aunts neighborhood is right towards the end of the ending lane and this mother trucker
is flying all the way up my ass.

Homie don't play like that.

So they almost hit us and then the car beside us because they wanted over and the lane was ending. Well dumb ass you shouldn't have pulled that little stunt. This is why people get killed and its a shame. Idiots.

Well here is the solution- throwing axes.

When someone pisses you off driving you take that throwing axe out of your glove compartment and you throw it right into the back window of who ever is pissing you off...if it is a biker (use caution they could be a Hell's Angel) you can throw it in their back tire.

And if anyone trys to axe you about it then you can axe them upside their head.

Now this person who pissed you off is probably fearful of their life at this point and pulled over to the side of the road. GET THEIR LICENSE PLATE. You aren't done yet. They will try to to report you...you need to axe the windows of there house so they know you mean business.

It works best if you learn how to throw with your left hand, unless your in England...then you probably should learn with your right.

Be careful not to hit anyone or your become an axe murderer. This is simply just to teach people how to drive.

Oh and if you see one of those people riding their bikes on a busy road...there is a nice spot in the leg the stop that. Or the back will do. They won't be doing any biking ever again.

This little girl is practicing her axe handling skills because she doesn't take shit from bad drivers.



Hope Everyone Has a great day! Make sure to drive good ;)





once again...this is a joke...I wouldn't axe a car.

Giraffe Week

Oh, it's Shark Week you say?

Well Honey Badger don't care.

There is a new deadly animal in town that will be taking over a tv near you summer 2012! This is the official announcement (of the planning, hoping and countless letters sent to Discovery Channel) of Giraffe Week!

Now you may be saying "What cute little thing that looks like E.T.! Where is Drew Barrymore when you need her?" 

But my friends you are DEAD wrong. These deadly creatures can grow up to 20 feet tall and almost 2,000 pounds. 

Surely these animals are close to extinction like most animals in Africa though right? NOPE. Sure they have awesome coats but those coats are actually camouflage. Remember in Land Before Time when Littlefoot finds that "rock" he thought was his mom? Yeah that was actually a Giraffe.

They have been around millions of years, just because of pure badassery. But still today they face a new modern threat, Hunters. Alas, Giraffes don't play around with guns. If you shoot at them you better expect repercussions.

Here you can see a baby Giraffe doing what I call "the kiss of deaf". Where a Giraffe gives you a little kiss (usually with tongue) and then proceeds to strangle you with that long neck.

Luckily, this giraffe was a baby and wasn't able to kill the man.

It's not just the neck you must be worried about though, Giraffes do have horns.

Ever seen them? Probably not. Because they come out only in times of need, and when the Giraffe needs to bring him out he or she usually kills.

Here we have Sarah and Esmee, two brave women who have raised this deadly creature since birth. You can clearly see there the horns come out.

I ask all of you to be cautious around Giraffes. In the last 20 years we have lost 834 people due to Giraffe attacks.

So next time you see this:

Remember the dangers it holds.

(This is totally fictional, so don't try to kill Giraffes...or we will kill you...jk...but seriously.)

War in Darcie?

I wanted to blog about Darfur and how everyone wants to save it.

But then I thought "Is that to soon?"

Clearly I have decided it is not to soon, and in fact the right time to write a blog. After all before deciding to write this blog I wouldn't have been able to locate Darfur on a map. Don't Judge you couldn't either could you?

Now I will not pretend to be an expert on the subject, to be perfectly honest with you I cannot tell you whether this War in Darfur is still happening or not. Also, before tonight I thought Darfur took place in Asia, in a little country south of China and that the Chinese people used the Darfurians as factory workers to make all of the luxury items American Hotshots pay the Chinese to make.

Clearly I was wrong for once.

Apparently Darfur is in Africa.

This is news to me, if you are a reader of my blog in the past you know Africa, the motherland, holds a special place in my heart. So I would like all of this violence and mistreatment and what ever else to be stopped.

This business started in 2003 and so many people have been effected. Now don't get me wrong I don't want to be sending our troupes over their to put a stop to this. We get in peoples business enough we should leave these people be...we have lasted long enough without interrupting.

How could something go on for so long in these modern times?

Beats the hell out of me.

Well all I really know is it should be saved. Because who hasn't seen an add, commercial or flyer trying to save it?

Well here is Goosethetwins helping hand. I will hope that blogging will help spread the word.

I just would go somewhere else to get your factual information.

Shephard's Pie. A Harry Potter Recipe

"The day Harry is to spend time in detention with Professor Lockhart (helping him to answer his fan mail), Harry eats his shepherd's pie without much appetite, dreading his upcoming detention. If he could foretell the future, he'd have a lot more on his mind, because during his detention he will hear a terrifying, murderous voice in the walls that no one else can hear (see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 7)."

So this was a pretty easy thing to make and pretty quick too. Because my family is a bunch of picky eaters we left out the onion. I also doubled the recipe but I kept forgetting that I was doubling it and I could add some things undoubled. I also used beef broth instead of chicken because my mom doesn't like chicken.

First thing I did was cook the meat and then peel and cut the potatoes.

Here is the meat, excuse the ugly cup in the background, my little brother has had one to many head injuries.

Now boiling the potatoes and putting all the flavor into the meat.

Time to cook!



Some of the juices from the meat rose up and colored the potatoes

All in all I think this turned out pretty good. I think there wasn't a very good meat to potato ratio but that was my fault. If I made this again I'd probably made something else to eat on the side, like green beans just to give it some color. It was also a bit salty and we probably ate it to fast. It probably should have cooled a bit.

But it was really easy to make and I will probably make it again. Sorry their were not that many pictures, this really wasn't that exciting to make and I didn't have an assistant.

Still a few more posts left! Any guesses what they may be? Thanks for reading and tell your friends!

Big, Fluffy Pancakes. A Harry Potter Recipe

"In the Wizarding world this dish is called Cauldron Cakes. Harry see's them for the first time on the witch's trolley on board the Hogwarts Express in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. He generously shares with Ron, who finds his dry corned beef sandwich unappealing."


I wasn't really sure what recipe to do next, so my mom and I went through the book and picked out some that sounded good. While we were at the pool my brother bet my mom that if we could make a basket from the diving board she'd have to make pancakes. Well he made one eventually then I made two in a row.

When I found this recipe I decided I'd make the pancakes.

 So the first think we had to do was get all the ingredients, mom was assisting me today because I had never made pancakes.

Then we mixed the eggs, sugar and lemon zest.

We also have a power and baking soda combo and milk.

Then I had to mix everything together, thought that is my mom mixing it.

Got the pan ready.

I let her go first, we weren't sure how this was going to work out.

As you can see, Mom's pancake flipping skills need some work. Also I am not sure why they aren't as big and fluffy as you'd imagine.

More and more came, getting bigger not very fluffy. We couldn't get an exact circle.

This was my first attempt.

Had to be very careful, I wanted to do better then my mom.

And I did!! Nearly perfect right? I think so.

If you look at the back of the plate its obvious we had been snacking.

Cut off those edges and we have a perfect circle!

Not so much right here.

They turned out looking rather weird. Not as pretty as most pancakes.

I will say that they tasted really good. I probably used a bit to much lemon zest, they had a lemon flavor to them because of that. I am not sure why the pancakes were not big and fluffy or if this is what they consider big and fluffy.

Still it doesn't change the fact that these were really good and fairly easy to make. I don't think I'll make them again unless I just get a wild hair for homemade pancakes.

More recipes will be coming soon! One is so good that I have made them 2 times, and of the ingredients to do it again next week.

Any guesses what that may be?

Thanks for reading and suggest the blog to your friends!!

Merlins Beard!!!!!

10 years ago I started reading the first Harry Potter book, I was in 5th grade and hated reading with a passion. It just wasn't for me. I put my index card in my book and put the book on my bookshelf and didn't return for almost 7 years.

My senior year of high school I realized reading wasn't all that bad and I started reading again. I picked up my Harry Potter book and started reading the series on and off for about 3 years. Using the same index card as a bookmark ever since.

Well I finally finished the Harry Potter series and am very sad to not have a need for that book mark (though I am currently using it for the Tales of Beedle the Bard) but the bookmark will remain in the first book until I decided to read again, even if it is years down the line when I am reading it to my children.

After finishing the series I started texting Goose talking about how amazing it would be if JK Rowling would write another book, maybe not another revolving around harry but another in the wizarding world. So I started doing so research and JKR told Oprah last fall that she was thinking about writing more books in the wizarding world.

Well you don't just tell Oprah something unless your are serious.

Today I am on twitter, doing my thing when I notices "More Potter" and "Pottermore" were trending topics. So I did my research.

Turns out JKR had letters on a Secret Street View and the letters spell out something that seems to be one of those, though only 9 letters are currently announced/been found and the M is missing (as far as I have heard).

I myself decided as a dedicated fan and a blogger I must do my research and I found the letters E O T O T R P R and I couldn't find the last E for some reason, I have the coordinates but it just doesn't work for my computer.

So what does this mean from JKR? Will she be writing more books?

I think so. I'd be interested to have books following the main casts kids or even the there lives after the battle of Hogwarts and before they send the kids off to Hogwarts.

Well she said they'd be posting more between June 15 and June 16 so I guess we should find out soon hopefully.


Also I have made 5 recipes from the book and have all the pictures on my camera and am only waiting to get my cord so I can upload those pictures! So new Harry Potter Cookbook Blogs should be coming soon.

The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse.

I usually don't do this but I suppose I will write a person blog not really for entertainment but to let everyone know a little bit about my family, most my little brother. Goose has opened up about the holidays (and probably brought a lot of yall to tears). This probably won't but it isn't meant to. Its more of a congratulations.

18 (19 in November) years ago my mom brought home a little boy, who apparently is my brother. I was only 21 months old and had already developed the personality I have today and said "Take him back Mommy" before she even managed to get all the way in the door.

Many fights, one stabbing and millions of good times later my little brother, who I never really wanted, was getting ready to graduate.

It is a big time in my families lives because the youngest is getting ready to graduate and it has finally sunk in with me that my baby brother isn't really a baby anymore...in fact...he is an adult. But this was a bigger moment in his life then it was ours. Friday night Brooks would graduate with his class of 2011 then on Saturday we would play in the State Championship for baseball.

I can honestly say that I have never been more proud of him in his entire life. So I am writing a blog about it and will explain how everything went down.

The first game I was PRAYING more then anything they'd win. (Though later there would be another game I'd be praying for). I wanted the first game to win so bad for 2 reasons. 1) Brooks started out on first, it was his last game we were all pretty sure so I really wanted him to win it, that way no matter what happens at least he could look back knowing he won the last game he played in. Selfish but I don't care ha. 2) If they win the first game they are at least guaranteed a game 3 if they loose the second game. Well Hillgrove almost came back but We won!!! What a relief!.

The second game we were playing pretty well but HillGrove caught up and tied the game 10 10 in the last inning we were still tied. I don't remember exactly how many extra inning there for but I think at least 3 or 4. Neither team was really getting any hits. It was a stale mate. I was really nervous but it was good to know that no matter what happened we still would have Monday..though I wish we wouldn't have needed Monday. I will give HUGE props to Phillip Taylor, he is one of Parkviews Senior pitches and he pitched all those extra inning plus a few more before they went into extra innings AND he pitched some in the first game. Phillip and the rest of the Panthers in the field played a LONG hard game and worked there asses off but sadly they lost.

Luckily there was always Monday.

Today (Monday) I think everyone was so nervous. Today was a day all of those boys will remember forever, but we were all hoping they'd remember it for positive reasons. The game was a close match for the first 3 or 4 inning where Parkview lead most of the time the HillGrove went ahead 10 to 8. It wasn't that big of a leave but for the next few inning neither team was scoring, leaving HillGrove in the lead going into the 7th inning. Feelings were kind of low in the stands. We were all so worried, PHS were visitors this game so we batted first and if we didn't at least get 2 run to tie the game we'd be done.

I am not exactly sure what was said but Brooks seemed to have a "talk" with the team on the field before entering the last inning. This would be his last inning of high school ball even though he wasn't playing. It didn't look much like a talk as it did like Brooks yelling at them. Hopefully encouraging words..which I assume were encouraging after I saw they way they batted. I don't know if he used positive or negative reinforcements but it looked like he swapped those kids with pros!! While they were playing a great game, they were not doing well enough to knock in any runs for a few innings (and neither was the other team) the score was still 10 to 8 with us behind.

Before the inning started I had told Troy and Virginia, whos little brother was also a senior on the team and whos father is a veteran and got to throw the first pitch because it was memorial day, that we need to get to at least 20 runs to be safe and win.

Well Parkview decided that they'd one me up and make it 21 to 10. They scored 13 runs in the 7th inning! It was probably one of the most amazing things to watch. The crowd was so hyped up and the boys were all doing amazing. Just with the first 3 runs were they knew they were still in it, it was like it was an all knew ball game and all of them knew they had what it would take to be state champions. HillGrove didn't manage to score and PARKVIEW WON STATE!!!!

I was so happy!! It was so amazing to watch these kids who I've been rooting for for so long get the ultimate prize and win state. I was so proud! watching them celebrate and celebrating with them was amazing!! I was so happy for them and my little brother I almost cried tears of joy, and I didn't do shit but watch.

When some people started running on the field the stands I was in were hardly moving. Well I said "AW HELL *BAD WORD ending in ING* NAW" and I proceeded down the crowded bleachers and onto the field pushing through these people who seemed to care less that we won followed by Jenny, Troy and Virginia to celebrate with them and my brother. It was so exciting the energy was amazing. I'd advise everyone to watch there little brothers high school team win state just once in their lives...or maybe win won yourself.

I almost felt bad pushing through all those people...but I mean when it looked like we were obviously going to win...I did say I'd be pushing through them to get on the field...fair warning. Plus they were blocking the stairs...It was a fire hazard anyway.

The officer on the field tried to tell us no don't go any farther....but it was the officer from our high school. He is a great guy but honestly there was more of us then there was him...and hes getting alittle old.

It was so much fun! I was so proud. And I guess now that baseball is over my little brother is finally a grown up and my family now has no attachments to PHS.

I have watched him grow up for 18 years and now he is off to play college baseball! I am so proud of him and hope he achieves so much more in life :)

Love you little bro.

Thanks for reading everyone, I just thought I'd share my excitement for my little brother and his baseball team.

Twin