If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I am writing this to help Goose out... Just kidding hers are great :)

There are some things I have noticed about out most popular blog posts so I am going to list them out here...and actually will use all of these things to help create this one just as popular.

1.) Talk about Disney. 

                  By saying this, I have talked about Disney...but I'll post a picture for good measures.

2.) Post a sultry picture of Suzanne.

                                                             Beautimus.

3.) Post pictures in general...people eat that shit up.


4.) Have a witty title that grabs attention.


5.) Lead your reader into thinking this is a sexual blog.

Perves

6.) Make lots of promises on how your blog will get better. Like any successful person empty promises are the key to success.

7.) Force your friends and family into reading your blog. Sure it doesn't mean you blog is popular but a boost in number equals a boost in confidence.

8.) Have a solid foreign audience who reads your blog.

On that note I'd like to think all of the people who read! Especially the loyal readers. While Americans our are biggest viewers we have received many views and a few emails (which you Americans never send) about our blog so I'd like to send out a big thanks by making some mentions of the countries other then the USA who seem to enjoy our blog. In order of the most loyal. Just for kicks.

Canada, Russia, Italy (Fairly new but they eat out shit up! Love y'all Italians and wouldn't judge y'all by your Jersey counterparts), Slovenia, Germany, Denmark, Australia, Malaysia and Philippines.

Big THANKS to all of you! Don't see your country on here? Well better tell your friends and maybe shoot us an email and if you get enough viewers we will give yall a shout out....hell we may just hop right over and come visit....assuming your country has a beach....sorry Switzerland.

Now I know this is a bit off topic, but my other blog http://www.realitywithreyn.blogspot.com/ has its fair share of foreign viewers. In fact the number of viewers seems to grow with each post so I thought I'd give some shout outs to those countries too...after all they clearly love me bc I blog about American tv.

Russia, Canada, Germany, Austria, Hungry, Singapore, Australia, Denmark and the UK.

So whats with all this your probably asking. Well Suz and I have come up with a great discovery.

Foreign people LOVE me. I should be president. With Obamas approval ratings in the gutter and no clear front runner for Republican candidate I could easily go in and sweep this election. I mean assuming no one questions my age and prior experience I could probably win.

World peace would not be to far away either. If country didn't decided to be peaceful our peace countries which will go by Reynolds Davis' Countries for a Better Tomorrow....or RDCBT for short, will blow they asses up.

Thanks for reading guys! I'd also like to give Parkview High School Baseball a big shout out for making it to the State championship!!! I hope yall win it!

-Reyn

Shut Your Mouth and Say it Ain't So

I am very angry right now, okay that's kind of a lie. I am just more a little frustrated.

I don't know what happened but my last post got deleted, along with a few posts from www.realitywithreyn.blogpost.com

I mean it isn't the worst thing that could have happened, only one post here got deleted so at least we have a lot left. I am not rewriting that post either so if you missed it then that sucks. I don't really care that some on the other blog went down just because they are more recaps and my feelings on TV shows.

I just hope no more go down. Sometimes Blogger is very inconvenient. Maybe we should switch to Tumblr (which I have by the way). But I don't really feel like tumblr is as organized as blogger. who knows.

How to Catch a Predator

I am going to tell you and entirly true story about what happened to my cousin Jamee and I the other day.

We are getting ready to have our "The Voice" viewing party when she needs to go to the store to get a cake. We got to publix which is right down the street and along with the cake we decided to get some eclairs.

After waiting in a pretty short line to check out he ranged our items up then Jamee is about to pay and I say.

"Did you get the eclairs?" I knew she did, but I also knew I didn't see them anywhere and I am pretty sure he rang them up. So she looked and he did ring them up and so we say something. Then I mention the fact that I am pretty sure the little girl and her mom in front of us stole them. I saw them take a freshly baged bag but I wasn't sure if it was ours or one of theirs so I didn't say anything.

When our register boy relized this mistake he took off like Superman going to save Lois Lane. He ran out that store leaving behind a line. The manager and two other employees looked over at us like WTF? Then the manager asked what he was doing. We politely said "Some little girl jacked out eclairs". The manager, being a little more thoughtful then the employee sent another employee to get us new eclairs because clearly they will never get those back from that little thief....Her mom probably beat her that night for stealing.

As if the night wasn't already full of criminals, when we were driving back to Jamee's house to put the cake away there is a HUGE creeper standing under a tree hiding. He gives us the creepiest look EVER. And like moves his head to follow us with his eyes.

Okay and so you can get a mental picture in your head about what this guy looked like. Imagine the scariest guy you've ever seen....now imagine him as a cannibal....and in jean shorts.

That was this guy. He kind of looked somewhat like this dude....but scarier and without visible tattoos.

Oh good the stories over right? nope. When we got to her house right up the street we pull in her driveway. Then some Van decides to be creepy and it stops in front of the driveway!! it doesn't do anything but sit there parked! In super creeper mode. We don't get out of the car because we weren't in the mood to get killed or kick ass. All we wanted was to watch the voice and eat eclairs is that so hard to ask?


Welp surely nothing else could go wrong right? wrong.

After a few hours my mom reads me an article about how a few houses in the neighborhood right near ares were broken into and how a cop is monitoring the area and that any suspicious activity needs to be reported.......

If only we would have known sooner. There is a gaggle of thugs out that we come into contact with and we could have citizens arrested all of them. Imagine how big of heroes we would have been. We probably would have been given keys to the city.


Twin

Honey Badger Don't Care

Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit.




Okay so I am going to tell yall about a dream I had last night. It was pretty rad and I think I made a new best friend.


This dream was pretty awesome. I was sitting a room, it was almost like a room where we are about to listen to someone talk, my guess was that they were going to talk to us about toothpaste because we were in a convention center for old people.


I look around and who do I see? Lindsey Lohan. I am star struck! The fact that Lindsey and I use the same toothpaste was amazing. This clearly meant that I would be able to pursue a future as a cocaine addict without harming my pearly whites.


As I look around I see Paris Hilton, Carlie Sheen, Antonio Banderas, Raquel Zimmermann, Cuba Gooding Jr., Tom Welling and Kristin Chenoweth.


Quickly I realized this is not the toothpaste convention I had signed up for. I was clearly either in a celebrity rehab center....or on the set of the Rat Race sequel.


When know Doctors came out I took it upon myself to personally rehabilitate each and everyone one of the celebs from whatever ails them. So I said "Okay guys lets gather around and talk about our problem like an AA meeting"


They all start to move there chairs, Mr. Sheen kind of had a hard time following instructions being under the influence from his morning line but Tom Welling, being  superman, helped him get into the circle.


I called Lindsey over to sit by me. She needed the most help and I was very interested in knowing how Herbie Fully Loaded ended, because I fell asleep and am not sure. I assume it wasn't to good because while living in Orlando I'd see Herbie driving all the time and not racing once.


On my right sat Paris, Cuba, Kristin and Tom. Everyone else was on my left. We did role call. By this point I decided they all needed different types of help. Paris, Lindsey and Charlie needed drug rehabilitation. Antonio needed a new face because he is often confused for Rickey Martin by the non-Hispanic community. Cuba needed a jump start to his career and Raquel needed a little bit of name recognition. Tom tired to say he had to problem but I knew I'd find his kryptonite. Kristin really didn't seem to have problems though, really her only problem was that she played an on screen drunk.


Now it looks like I am just beginning to peek in my story and that more is to come but that is where you are wrong. I got a phone call from some number I don't know and it ruined my dream. I debated putting the number up here in hopes that someone would be able to tell me who they are but since it was probably a wrong number I'd hate for crazies to start calling them up every chance yall get.


but you know what


HONEY BADGER DONT CARE






i dont even like honey badgers.


twin.

Goose's PRE 4 Hour Body BLOG

Okay ya'll I'm going to blog about my adventures doing the 4 hour body. For awhile I was doing "Fruits/Veggies/Protein" diet. And the two times I've done that I've lost 10 lbs in a week. The 4 Hour Body diet (From the book of the same name) is basically the same with a few modifications. Biggest one, NO FRUIT. Second biggest, ONE CHEAT DAY PER WEEK. 


So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to follow the veggies/beans/protein diet as outlined in the book. I am going to do ONE CHEAT DAY (on Saturday this week) THEN, NEXT monday I'm going to weigh myself. I am not going to do a starting weight before I start because today was Easter, its a "certain time of the month" when I'm heavier, and frankly, I'm scared of the scale. So week 1 results may not be 100% accurate but I don't care so you shouldn't either.


My goal is to lose 20lbs.


We'll see what I can do!


Also- In addition to the diet I am also going to be doing the very small amount of exercise the book outlines. It says to do these exercises 3 days a week (MWF for me). Basically it's comprised of a whooole lotta kettlebell swings. Which SUPPOSEDLY will not only give you Michelle Obama Arms, but the best ass ever- my ass is already pretty awesome so I'll probably win national ass contests after this. 


Ew I don't like the word ass when describing a bum. I just don't. But I used it, what can ya do, you live and you learn.


There are also butt raises (where you lie on your back and raise your butt) and flying dogs. Google it if you don't know what that is.


Also, I'll be doing the ab exercises that are mentioned. I'll be doing the Myotatic crunch and the Cat Vomit...LOL google these too. Or better yet, youtube them.


I also measured myself, i'm going to track inches lost. Once again, I'll disclose these numbers NEXT MONDAY (May 2) just to be consistent.


I MAY - (depending on how much time I have) - Do Ripped in 30 also...but i'm not sure. Maybe after week 1. The 4HB diet emphasizes "DOING LESS = MORE RESULTS" so...we'll see.


I feel like blogging may keep me on track. We'll see!!!


-Goose

Picked Boogers

Panchos on the avoid flying boogers

Do you ever wonder where picked boogers go? Lets face it EVERYONE in there life has picked a booger or two. So what happens to a booger after it is picker? Well theres a few things people do.

1. Flick that booger off into existence and hope you never come in contact with it again.

2. Wipe the booger under the nearest desk or seat.

3. Wipe the booger on the back of someone as you "pat their back"

4. Put it in the hem of your pants. (or the folded part, I am assuming its called the hem, I won't say who does this)

5. Find a bathroom or a napkin, but lets face it if a bathroom or napkin/tissue is in close proximity then you probably wouldn't be digging for gold in the first place right?

6. You could eat it, freaks. Oh and ps they don't have nutritional value so when your baby eats a boogey in public you can't say its for his health.

Apparently 44% of people have eaten boogers in there adult hood. I am proud to say I am not in that statistic and I hope non of my readers are either. I hope that 44% comes from underdeveloped countries.

But what happens to the non-digested boogers? The simply can't just disappear.

Well I have a theory, like other things other things the come out of your body I think its collected by a mythical creature.

Everyone heard of the Tooth Fairy, and probablyThe Appendix Gnome and maybe even the lesser known Placenta Eater (More politically correct word is The Placenta Poltergeist). Well there is indeed a Boogey Baby and a Boogey Man.

The Boogey Man, commonly known for "scaring children" is actually not trying to scare but actually collect children's picked boogers and feed them to his Boogey Baby. Because boogers are actually the only thing that helps the Boogey Baby grow into a Boogey Man. Boogey Baby's don't have mothers so they have no milk to drink and therefore need boogers.

So that is where boogers go. How did I find this out? Well there is actually a building in down town Atlanta that is there head quarters, I actually showed up there on accident. Nargles are in command of the place, incorrigible.

Real Life Disney

Just Thought I'd share this pictures. I honestly can't remember who is in all of these, for some you will be able to tell, and just so its know the male mermaid is Michael Phelps.



Twin