The World Will End While Your On The Toilet

I said we probably wouldn't be able to post this week, I lied.

Here is the dilemma and I'm sure we have all been there, your on the toilet enjoying your favorite book and then you go to grab some toilet paper and there is nothing left. SSSCUSE ME???

What does one do in this situation? I also wait minute or so and hope some toilet paper magically appears. "Santa came early this year, here is some Charmin Ultra ." You really don't have to many options so here are a few:

1.) Ask the Audience. Scream for someone to bring you some and hope your not all out. This is a good method just scream really loud and hope someone is home.

2.) Phone a Friend. Text/call someone and tell them, less awkward but not as personal. What if they don't have there phone?

3.) Get in the shower and "hose off". While I have never personally done this I have heard stories of it happening and frankly I think its gross, really gross. This isn't a 3rd world country poop goes in the toilet and you go in the shower. You wouldn't wash yourself off in the toilet would you?

4.) The Waddle Method. If you are home alone and there is toilet paper in another room, sometimes you just got to waddle like a duck to get the toilet paper. I'd advise to you flush before you leave the bathroom. Once you grab the TP immediately go to the nearest bathroom to wipe.

5.) Towel Clean. Take a towel and use it, I find this also very gross and would advise you to throw away the towel after and do not try to flush it.

6.) Be a Man Use Your Hand. I do not advise you to do this at all. I'm not even sure why someone would do it. I'm sure someone maybe has but frankly once its on your hand then you have to use something to get it off and a lot of people would probably vomit. Just a big mess.

I am sure many smart people would say "Well keep the toilet paper in the bathroom." That sounds good in theory but for some reason my family thinks an appropriate place for toilet paper is in the hallway, or down stairs sometimes in the dinning room that we barely use. When you have to go really bad you don't think "Well I better go out of my way to get some toilet paper" so sir you go straight to the porcelain express.

Also this is another toilet dilemma I am sure some people face. Have you ever actually checked to see if theres toilet paper, and really had to go and you had to make the decision whether theres enough toilet paper on the roll or not. Sometimes if you get the soft fluffy kind that "makes your butt feel like a baby's bottom" it can be very misleading.  Then when you realize you made the wrong decision you are sitting there looking at this one thin square and wondering how this is going to work out. MacGyver that shit.

Here is the situation I was in the other day which made me bring this up. We were watching Harry Potter (Mom, Dad, Brooks and his girl friend) and Mom got a call so I decided it was the perfect time to go number 2 because she could talk on the phone for days. I had to go so bad that I ran upstairs and did my business (and actually was reading the harry potter book that was the same as the movie tmi I know). Well I was careless and realized there was no toilet paper. After waiting a minute for some mythical creature to bring me toilet paper (it would 've been nice to have a house elf) I went with method number two and texted Brooks. His response "No lol look on the shower handle first"........Really? He eventually brought me some.

Anyway I thought this was a funny subject and would share it. But by far the worst part of being stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper is that it smells like shit.

A Weekend Update

Monday school starts back and thanksgiving break will be over so it could be around two weeks before I updates again because of finals and everything so I thought I would fill everyone in on whats going on. I will probably getting a new layout soon, something that looks a little more professional also we will be adding more things like the fish tank at the bottom (go check it out).

We will start having a new surprise blog late this year or the beginning of next year, updates for it will probably come at least once or twice a week and last almost all year (maybe longer). We will keep it a secret about what its about until the first blog (which will come around the third week of December). It's going to be a teaser from what is to come and I know everyone will love it and if you don't then that's your problem!

Also I have been told that people can't follow the blog, I don't know why you guys can't BUT I do know you need a google account or a blog spot account. If you have one of those and you'd like to follow us (please do) then all you have to do is go to the top of our blog and theres a black bar and you just press the follow button! easy as pie! If you'd like to follow us and don't have an account then you can make one if you'd like, its free and easy and your won't all those crappy spam emails from this website so there no worries. But as always we will continue to tweet and post something on facebook every time we update.

Then we have been having a problem with comments, you should be able to comment even if you do not have a blog or google email, you should be able to comment anonymously, or just shoot us an email.

Anyway I hope everyone who went black Friday shopping got some good deals and those of you who had to work (like Suz) made it out alive! I saw Tangled last night and its probably towards the top of all the Disney princess movies.

-Twin

GOOSE SAYS THANKS

THANKSGIVINGGGGG
Okay this year was the best one yet. Let's get serious for a moment. I hope I don't make your soul hurt like I did with Reynolds when I told him this story, but I'm not telling you something funny first so it wont be as bad.


Well as many of you know I lost my brothers Joel and Eric Oct 16 and Nov 19, 2002. So ever since then Thanksgiving has been kind of...hard.
OKAY now funny part. And then, before that, we all had to go to my grandparents house which was always uncomfortable because mostly everyone hated each other. Haha. So yeah, Thanksgiving was just kinda "Alright let's just eat and get this crap over with."


This year was so fabulous though. We had 10 in all. My parents, me, Landon, my brother Nick and his finace Meridith, Jon, my aunt Geralyn and for the first time we had my Aunt Leslie and Uncle Jacques come. They finally decided NOT to go hang out with my grandfather for the holiday and I do say that everyone had a marvelous time.


My mom cooked and my mom is a DAMN good cook!!!! Anyway it just really felt complete and it felt like Eric and Joel were there in spirit. It's about time we got to be happy. I felt really blessed all day (even though I was over stuffed and tired haha)


THEN as tradition: My mom and I went and saw a movie, we ALWAYS go see movies on Thanksgiving. So we saw Tangled and OH MY GOSH. Soooo cute. So funny and even better than Princess and the Frog. I compare it to that just because it was the most recent. Oh and Tangled is the 50th animated Disney movie so you know it HASSS to be good (:


Anyway, I was Thankful for this year's Thanksgiving, good times, family, friends, exactly all of the boring stuff. I am thankful for this blog because it's fun & I am incredibly thankful for everything Disney because it changed my life....


The biggest change is that now I cry every time i see the castle intro for disney movies ;) Haha okay that's not the biggest change, but it is true.


<3 Goose

Its that time of year again

This week the holiday season has officially began. Thanksgiving came and went faster than a stick of better sliding down a pipe in the dessert. Preparing for thanksgiving is always stressful because my family usually has gone months without fully cleaning the house so theres a lot to do, and then you have to cook on top of that. Well of coarse it was all worth it and this year the whole family was able to make it (minus a few). It was great to have everyone over and all the little ones. I must say I wish  there was presents involved.

In a few weeks Dr. Pepper is reuniting Suz and I and then Christmas will be here.

So since this week was thanksgiving I wanted to know what everyone was thankful for this year? yeah most everyone says "family, friends good health...." blah blah blah. Let's be honest we should probably be thankful for that everyday and not just once a year. Does anyone have anything special there thankful for? maybe they won some money or something materialistic. Frankly I find that more interesting to here I can assume your thankful for you family.

I personally don't give thanks, I get thanks. I'm just that great.

In all reality I think this year beside the "normal" things I am most thankful for the mouse. He's very strict and kind of mean but lets face it, it was probably one of....not it was the greatest thing that has happened to me this year. Living and working in Florida was great and all these wonderful people were blessed enough to meet me, and they aren't to bad themselves!


So everyone I'd like to know what you are thankful for this year, leave a comment, email us (goosethetwin@yahoo.com), tweet us (goosethetwin) or facebook either one of us!


-Twin


(PS I am home and will probably update again soon)

"GIRLS ON THE STREET..PUKE..WHEN THEY SEE ME"

Suzanne's interview with Robert Patterson.

In honor of the new Harry Potter I thought that I'd share this video with everyone. So click the link and it will direct you to youtube where Suzanne (Goose) has an awesome video! Make sure to like it and comment!
Ps. Sorry for the lack of updates with tests and essays and everything (and work with Goose) we've both bee very busy.

-Twin

REYNOLDS IS A DISNEY PRINCESS (And way better than Snow White)

HelenReynolds

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Reynolds. One very magical day, Reynolds became a Disney Princess. How, you may ask, did he become a Disney Princess? well, Reynolds had worked at Disney in the past and saw that the Princess life was a pretty sweet one indeed. Frankly, the princes (with ONE S) got the shaft. Princesses got all the perks of being rich - big castles, pretty clothes, gorgeous hair. All of that without having to be lame like a Disney Prince. Really, the only thing they ever got was to marry a hot princess and Reynolds decided he could do that as a male princess anyway. So when he transformed into Disney Royalty, he chose the princess title instead of prince. PLUS Princes never get their own stories and Reynolds's story has to be told.


THIS is how Reynolds became a true Disney Princess...


One day, in a small little apartment in a beautiful little city, lived Reynolds. Reynolds liked to spend his days relaxing in the cool air streaming from the A/C while he baked lovely treats for him and his friends, like taquitos. Reynolds lived a simple and lovely life and he was happy. He had many friends, and even a twin brother.  


This particular day, all of Reynolds roommates came home. He noticed that one was not at all acting like the rest. He was sluggish, tired, and smelled funny.


     "MAGIC! BLACK MAGIC!" Reynolds exclaimed in horror realizing that this was the only logical explanation.
The friend looked up and shrugged. Reynolds often said random things in his presence.
"Um..." the sluggish friend slurred, "I'm having some people over later. I have business to settle."
Reynolds gasped in horror. "NO!" He screamed. The door opened and more kids posessed by the black magic piled in.
"NOOOO! Its too late to save you!" Reynolds fled into his room and locked himself safely in.


Soon, he realized that he quite needed a shower. He walked to the door of his room softly, and listened. He found that the black magic kids were still there. Falling into a deep sleep, Reynolds forgot all about his shower, and he also forgot about everything else. He slept for hours as a result of the black magic. OR maybe he was really tired. But probably because of black magic.


Soon Helen, the Princess who has always admired Reynolds from afar, noticed that he wasn't in princess class that day and went to his apartment to find him. She knew something was very wrong.


She walked into his apartment, only a vague remnant of the black magic was left, and the evil doers were gone. Helen found Reynolds's door bolted tightly shut. She knocked. Reynolds was still under the black magic spell.
She knocked again.
And again.
And again.
Slowly, she heard Reynolds begin to stir. The spell was breaking!


She knocked again and the door burst open. There Reynolds stood, he looked around. "They're gone!" He exclaimed, "My hero!" He jumped into Helen's arms and they lived happily ever after.


Eventually, Disney heard tell of Reynolds's ordeal. They instantly made him a Disney Princess, and kicked Snow White out. He even got a Spectromagic float and he sang,


"ON THIS MAGIC NI-IIIGHT...hm hm hmmm hm SPECTROMAAAGIC" over and over once a night (Except during extra magic hours -when he did it twice)

THE END!

You've been GOT by the Comment Compadres. >:)

So Goose and I do badass things even when we are apart. To prove our friendship to everyone we formed the Comment Compadres.....but mostly because we were bored at 4am/3am and theres only so much family feud to be played. It basically goes like this. We spam a profile picture of you with hilarious talk. Be honored by it, it means we love you. Whos is more fitting for the first selects? why arika of coarse. This is how it went down on June 2, 2010 from 3:48am-4:07am

Reynolds Davis Arika is is really cute

Suzanne Jourdain I love that she's so tan

Reynolds Davis I know. kentucky looks good tan

Suzanne Jourdain Definitely. I dont know the other human though

Reynolds Davis The other human is a mystery, clearly she thinks arika is brilliant

Suzanne Jourdain Brilliant like Albert Einstein.

Reynolds Davis Or george W. I think human number two would love us

Suzanne Jourdain Well, who doesn't? I Could probably name a few actually...Haha

Reynolds Davis haha yes. I think my list is rather large actually.

Suzanne Jourdain Mine too. Gotta have hate to be great. I just made that up

Reynolds Davis Girrll you are like a rapper. you could throw it down!

Suzanne Jourdain I know, you should hear me when I drink! I SPIT it. And I only spit the truth.

Reynolds Davis Child I have! You have flow and rythem

Suzanne Jourdain HAHAHAHA never in my life...

Reynolds Davis I went shopping today but put everything back but the game my brother bought me the othe stuff was good but I didnt need it no how.

Suzanne Jourdain OMG haha. How was that game btw?

Reynolds Davis It was so amazing we get to play with all of our chacters including arikas :)

Suzanne Jourdain Yeah but you ran Arika over

Reynolds Davis Whoops!!! No Arika ran me over and then jumped off a cliff lol

Suzanne Jourdain Oh that's right you were Arika and you ran over Harry. Why did you jump yourself off a cliff??

Reynolds Davis omg there goes my secret identity. i wasnt aware it was a cliff at the time lol. and let me tell you when they die its a hoot and a half.

Suzanne Jourdain What should we call ourselves?! Like in HOme Alone Marv names them the wet bandits. We need a name for our scheming selves

Reynolds Davis hmm. the comment conpadres?

Suzanne Jourdain Comment Compadres. Perfect. >:) we'll make everyone unsuspecting wake up with 30 notifications.

Reynolds Davis muhahaha we are so badass we are off the chart but its okay i got a new white bored bigger and better

Suzanne Jourdain GOOD you'll need it. I love how we made Arika our first victim

Reynolds Davis hahah she diserves it lol. she thought she has all the power over us but the tables have turned

Suzanne Jourdain Sorry Arika, we love you but...

Reynolds Davis FINISH HERR!!!!!!

Suzanne Jourdain You've been GOT by the Comment Compadres. >:)

 

June 2, 2010 10:58 Arika found out.

Arika Hardwick OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU BASTARDS SO MUCH, IT"S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!! :)

Reynolds Davis excellent :)

July 2 at 1:59pm ·

Suzanne Jourdain Perfection ♥ (:

 

 

 

 

Be careful, you'll never know whos next or when we strike!