Goose's PRE 4 Hour Body BLOG

Okay ya'll I'm going to blog about my adventures doing the 4 hour body. For awhile I was doing "Fruits/Veggies/Protein" diet. And the two times I've done that I've lost 10 lbs in a week. The 4 Hour Body diet (From the book of the same name) is basically the same with a few modifications. Biggest one, NO FRUIT. Second biggest, ONE CHEAT DAY PER WEEK. 


So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to follow the veggies/beans/protein diet as outlined in the book. I am going to do ONE CHEAT DAY (on Saturday this week) THEN, NEXT monday I'm going to weigh myself. I am not going to do a starting weight before I start because today was Easter, its a "certain time of the month" when I'm heavier, and frankly, I'm scared of the scale. So week 1 results may not be 100% accurate but I don't care so you shouldn't either.


My goal is to lose 20lbs.


We'll see what I can do!


Also- In addition to the diet I am also going to be doing the very small amount of exercise the book outlines. It says to do these exercises 3 days a week (MWF for me). Basically it's comprised of a whooole lotta kettlebell swings. Which SUPPOSEDLY will not only give you Michelle Obama Arms, but the best ass ever- my ass is already pretty awesome so I'll probably win national ass contests after this. 


Ew I don't like the word ass when describing a bum. I just don't. But I used it, what can ya do, you live and you learn.


There are also butt raises (where you lie on your back and raise your butt) and flying dogs. Google it if you don't know what that is.


Also, I'll be doing the ab exercises that are mentioned. I'll be doing the Myotatic crunch and the Cat Vomit...LOL google these too. Or better yet, youtube them.


I also measured myself, i'm going to track inches lost. Once again, I'll disclose these numbers NEXT MONDAY (May 2) just to be consistent.


I MAY - (depending on how much time I have) - Do Ripped in 30 also...but i'm not sure. Maybe after week 1. The 4HB diet emphasizes "DOING LESS = MORE RESULTS" so...we'll see.


I feel like blogging may keep me on track. We'll see!!!


-Goose

Picked Boogers

Panchos on the avoid flying boogers

Do you ever wonder where picked boogers go? Lets face it EVERYONE in there life has picked a booger or two. So what happens to a booger after it is picker? Well theres a few things people do.

1. Flick that booger off into existence and hope you never come in contact with it again.

2. Wipe the booger under the nearest desk or seat.

3. Wipe the booger on the back of someone as you "pat their back"

4. Put it in the hem of your pants. (or the folded part, I am assuming its called the hem, I won't say who does this)

5. Find a bathroom or a napkin, but lets face it if a bathroom or napkin/tissue is in close proximity then you probably wouldn't be digging for gold in the first place right?

6. You could eat it, freaks. Oh and ps they don't have nutritional value so when your baby eats a boogey in public you can't say its for his health.

Apparently 44% of people have eaten boogers in there adult hood. I am proud to say I am not in that statistic and I hope non of my readers are either. I hope that 44% comes from underdeveloped countries.

But what happens to the non-digested boogers? The simply can't just disappear.

Well I have a theory, like other things other things the come out of your body I think its collected by a mythical creature.

Everyone heard of the Tooth Fairy, and probablyThe Appendix Gnome and maybe even the lesser known Placenta Eater (More politically correct word is The Placenta Poltergeist). Well there is indeed a Boogey Baby and a Boogey Man.

The Boogey Man, commonly known for "scaring children" is actually not trying to scare but actually collect children's picked boogers and feed them to his Boogey Baby. Because boogers are actually the only thing that helps the Boogey Baby grow into a Boogey Man. Boogey Baby's don't have mothers so they have no milk to drink and therefore need boogers.

So that is where boogers go. How did I find this out? Well there is actually a building in down town Atlanta that is there head quarters, I actually showed up there on accident. Nargles are in command of the place, incorrigible.

Real Life Disney

Just Thought I'd share this pictures. I honestly can't remember who is in all of these, for some you will be able to tell, and just so its know the male mermaid is Michael Phelps.



Twin